Hello again!
Happy new year! Welcome to 2023! How have you been?
The beginning of the year is always very…interesting for me lol. Very rollercoaster vibes, you know? My expectations are always way too high in January and then I spend February emotionally recovering from the realization that my expectations were way too high and then March is kind of an existential headlock of wait what am I doing with my life haha.
I soft-retired from comedy lol (did you not hear me say “emotional and existential crisis”) but I’ve been drawing a lot and taking pictures and trying to teach myself ~graphic design~. I traveled to the Philippines to see my favorite people and it was so beautiful and warm and now all my targeted ads* are in Tagalog and I love it!
The sun is setting at 7pm now…the birds are beginning to chirp again…spring….she is nigh. And I can’t wait :)
FYI for you New York City folks - producing this show with John and it’s next Saturday 3/25 at 9:30pm and it’s going to be very very fun!! This lineup is FIRE – I mean these people are from TELEVISION! SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, EVER HEARD OF IT?? The last show sold out so you should get tickets!! “cmdytwn” will bring the ticket price down to $10 😈
*Speaking of targeted ads…
The algorithm continues to think I am some sort of terrible man with a bad personality. All of my targeted ads look like this:
I swear to you that I use the internet in a normal way. If anything, I use the internet in a feminine and kind of gay way. Like, I’m constantly googling things such as sasha colby boots the house down cunty fierce and david duchovny 1998 hot. I mean, hello??? I came of age in the Tumblr era and that’s how gay people are born. So why does THIS keep happening to me:
The way that these ads are so aggressively heterosexual….is a hate crime to me? And somehow this is just scratching the surface. I actually have two screenshots of two separate ads about grilled pineapple. I have one that says “Will your KPIs weather the storm of device ID depreciation?” and I don’t know what any of those words mean (DON’T tell me).
I don’t know how or when or why, but the Internet thinks I am a business bitcoin bro with bad taste and money to burn. How much RuPaul’s Drag Race does a person have to watch to end this kind of madness??????? I already watch a lot!!!
I’m hopeful I can turn the tide, though. This morning I saw this…and the future felt just a little brighter :)
John’s Joke of the Week
This part of the email is brought to you by John Jennings Randall.
I saw a billboard that said “Surgery in the morning. Home for dinner.”
Sounds like a pretty normal day for a surgeon.
Postscript
Just to recap – NYC show on the Lower East Side next week Saturday 3/25 at 9:30pm!! Tickets here!! Use the discount code “cmdytwn” if you want to!!
I hope to see you in your inbox more frequently………watch your back.
xoxoxoxoxo bye!!!!!